The first-phone transition

Before the phone is unwrapped

1. Create the child Apple ID or supervised Google account first.
2. Set up Screen Time / Family Link before first boot.
3. Pre-install the apps you want available. Don’t install what you don’t want.
4. Set the app-store age rating (12+ or 17+).
5. Turn on require password for every purchase.
6. Set Communication Safety (iOS) or install a Bark-style tool.
7. Install the Find My / Family Link app on your own phone to see location.
8. Write a phone agreement together — use our printable.

The five things to cover in the first conversation

• “This phone is on loan from me. It’s not your private space.”
• “I can see your screen time, your apps, and your location. No secrets.”
• “If anything weird or scary happens, you come to me. You’re never in trouble for telling me.”
• “No phone in the bedroom at night. It charges in the kitchen.”
• “We’ll re-negotiate as you get older. The rules get looser if you keep them.”

The first week

• Walk through settings together.
• Review the first weekly Screen Time report together.
• Answer “why” questions patiently — now is when the rules get internalized or resented.

Common first-phone mistakes

• Giving the kid the admin account on the phone.
• Letting them set up the Apple ID / Google account themselves (they’ll use an adult birthdate).
• Turning on Ask to Buy but approving everything automatically. Actually read the requests.
• Granting full social media access day one. Phase it in.